#SurrogateRealTalk: Advice for New Surrogates

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S- Take your time choosing IPs. I feel like it’s the most important part of your journey!

K- Patience!!! This journey will unfold in all different ways for everyone and at the end you will see the beauty in it even when it’s hard during stumbling blocks such as failed transfers. It will all work out how it is supposed to and you will create meaning to a family.

A- Don’t try to please your IP’s, at the end of the day if you don’t feel comfortable with anything let them know, just because you are on this journey with them doesn’t mean your opinions or values don’t matter.


A- Expect the unexpected. Surrogacy is planned and charted and so scientific that a lot of the time we forget that the outcome still can not be controlled. It’s okay to expect things from your journey, but having rigid expectations will not help. Be flexible, allow for change, learn to adapt. Things don’t always work out like we expect, and that’s okay.

A- Just be you, and remember its YOUR body, if your not comfortable with something, speak up!

K- Appreciate that after baby the IP’s are adjusting to being parents and may not talk to you as much as before. Don’t take it personally.

C- There will be a lot of waiting, but then things will really move, so don’t be discouraged it DOES come together 🙂

S- Don’t hesitate to reach out to your surrosisters. We are here to help you every step of the way. We are your tribe and we have your back.


N- Please take your time to read and reread the contract, don’t expect your lawyer to catch everything. DO NOT start meds til after contract, I didn’t wait and I know it is one of the very big reasons why my contract mistakes weren’t caught. Your IPs know what they are signing up for, don’t let them guilt you about things. Take your time and enjoy the pregnancy once you become pregnant.

S- Make sure you talk to your IPs about the hard stuff: selective reduction, termination, invasive procedures. Make sure your views align. Don’t compromise your views to please your IPs. Make sure you go over your contract by yourself before you talk to the lawyer. Make notes along the way. Do not settle for anything that makes you uncomfortable. Speak up. If you want more contact, tell them. If you want less contact, tell them. If you feel they are suffocating you, tell them. Make sure you are up front with the type of relationship you want.


K- Ask ALL the questions!  There are no stupid questions and you don’t want to be stuck somewhere when you don’t have to be. Find your support person and find out who your contact is for accounts, appointments, etc.  Finally, once you have the right people to ask the questions to, TAKE NOTES!  There’s so much information coming at you from all over and you’ll never remember all of it. It’s great to have something to look back on when you’re lost. You’re not an inconvenience, you’re not bothering them. These girls are here to help you

T-Love your journey! be true to yourself! You and your IPs should compliment each other not be oil and water. If it isn’t right, speak up!

C- Be patient. It could take a long time to achieve a pregnancy!


C- Be patient.

J- Know that you can say no.  If you don’t feel amazing in your connection. Walk away from it. They will find their perfect surrogate. And you will find the perfect match.  Don’t just take a match because they need a baby. Everyone you match with has that same desire to have children. Find ones that treat you in a way that shows you they are grateful for you changing their lives.

I- Be prepared to go threw pick ups and slow downs … it’s hard when your super excited but be patient…. your ips May be on your back for a lot of things but just remember they do care and just want you to be safe.  If u have an issue with your contract don’t be afraid to ask your lawyer what can be done or what can’t be changed about it. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask us, we are here for you!