Surrogacy in Canada. Who are Surrogates in Canada, and why do they participate for no Compensation?
As a Surrogacy agency owner, past Surrogate, and someone who has worked in the Industry for nearly twenty years, I am constantly surprised by this question, and even more surprised by the answers I have heard from Surrogates over the years.
My “Why”
The answer that resonates with me the most, as it was definitely my “Why” is, I wanted to give a child, a childhood that I never had. Surrogacy gave me the opportunity to help a woman who desperately wanted a child, become a Mother. I grew up with a Mother who often would remind me that she hadn’t wanted Children, and that she had my brother and I out of a sense of obligation.
It was always hard to hear, and rang in my head throughout my life.
After having my own children, the reminder became heartbreaking. Surrogacy was the way that I was able to heal that Heartbreak, the heart ache.
How it started?
Originally my offer to be a Surrogate was to a friend, however she decided not to pursue Surrogacy, so I began to search for a Canadian company. It was then that I met my mentor, Joanne, of Canadian Surrogacy Options.
We spoke about the process, the details, and then came that dreaded question. “why do you want to be a Surrogate”. In that moment it was simple. Lean into the trauma of a broken childhood, or say what many do? I chose to give the answer many women give. ” I love pregnancy, and just want to help someone to become a Mom”.
Back then, leaning into trauma for any reason wasn’t a thing. Regardless of that conversation, and that “answer”, it was the most healing, humbling, and beautiful journey I had ever been on, and it was selfish. Back then I may not have known how watching S become a Mom would change me, but it truly did.
The Money
Now, the money, really? Does it matter? Whether a Surrogate is paid, or reimbursed for expenses, or participating as “healing work”, to address birth trauma, or in other places in the world, for financial gain, it doesn’t matter. While for many I talk to, they don’t know the “why”, they simply “Knew they had to do it” , or speak about Surrogacy as a calling. No matter the reason, Surrogacy is, and will always be a healing journey, for everyone who participates, whether Intended parents, or Surrogates. The “why” may come later, and that is okay too.
How to Reach Us to talk about Surrogacy, as a Surrogate, or Intended parent
For more information on our Surrogacy programs, please reach out to us at info@fertilityconsultants.ca