The relationship between a Surrogate and her Intended Parent(s) is often one that she may have not been in before, its very exciting! But it also can be nerve-wracking and awkward at first.
It is so important to set out on the right foot to grow and nurture your relationship into the amazing one you want, and deserve! We recommend that surrogates and Intended parents meet in person during the two week “dating period” before the match is finalized. This will give you all an opportunity to feel each other out, and really get to know what you all want. Communication will be an integral part of your journey through this process, and the relationship you share with the people you are making parents is one that can make or break this beautiful time.
No matter how far you are into your “dating process” with your match right now, we strongly suggest you send this email to them. It will ensure you are building the relationship you need with them.
I wanted to send you a note to tell you a little about my/our life, and also to explain the type of contact I need to have to feel comfortable going forward in this journey with you. So far I have enjoyed getting to know you, but I am really wanting a deeper relationship with my Intended Parent(s) that I work with.
In the future, I’d like to connect by Skype/Facetime once a week so we can share our week with each other. I would like this even before I am pregnant, as I want to feel like it will really help me to get know you more than in an email or text.
I’d also like to have you get back to my emails within 24 hours if possible, and I promise to do the same with your emails.
This type of relationship is very new to me, but I really want to have a close relationship, and so would ask that we work together to build that. At the beginning I was just so excited to meet you, but now I want to make sure that we carry on this relationship with lots of check ins and contact.
Thanks, and looking forward to this journey!!!!
I/We would love to come visit you for lunch, or tea even over Skype would be great! When could we arrange that?”
Always staying on top of your needs, and wants, and checking in with your support person to ensure that both you and your intended parents are continuing to communicate the way you had outlined and agreed upon is important. CFC wants this time in your life to be monumentally positive and we find the best way to have that be the case is through solid and clear communication. Like any relationship in life, the one that you have with your Intended Parents or Surrogate is one that needs to be nurtured and respected. It is so special, and so unique! It deserves to be as amazing as you are!