When embarking on the journey of surrogacy, intended parents often focus on finding a surrogate with a perfect track record. However, it’s important to consider that some surrogates may have experienced unsuccessful embryo transfers or biochemical pregnancies, including miscarriages. Surprisingly, these experiences can make them even more suitable candidates for your journey.
Understanding the Statistics
Research shows that around 20% of surrogate matches are influenced by previous unsuccessful transfers or biochemical pregnancies. Many intended parents may shy away from these individuals, fearing that their history signifies a lack of potential success. However, the statistics tell a different story: the success rate remains consistent in rematches with these surrogates. This indicates that prior unsuccessful attempts do not inherently diminish their ability to carry a successful pregnancy in the future. This history could be related to the compatibility of embryos/surrogates, embryo quality, or simply bad luck.
The Value of Experience
Selecting a surrogate who has faced challenges in previous pregnancies can offer unique advantages:
1. Commitment: Surrogates who have completed the screening process and successfully undergone transfers display a deep commitment to the surrogacy process. Their persistence through these critical stages shows their dedication not only to the Intended Parents but to the overall journey. This level of commitment is a testament to the surrogate’s willingness to follow through, no matter the challenges, reinforcing trust and confidence between both parties.
2. Informed Decision-Making: Experienced surrogates, having already navigated the complexities of pregnancy, possess a greater awareness of the emotional and physical demands involved. This awareness enables them to make informed decisions that benefit both themselves and the Intended Parents. Their knowledge leads to clearer communication, reducing misunderstandings and allowing both parties to set realistic expectations for the journey. Additionally, surrogates are better positioned to offer valuable insights, making the overall experience more collaborative and supportive.
3. Realistic Expectations: Surrogates who have previously encountered the highs and lows of pregnancy are better prepared to handle potential setbacks or challenges. Their experience allows them to approach the process with a balanced perspective, understanding that not every moment will go as planned. This realism promotes healthier relationships with Intended Parents, as both parties can openly discuss challenges and find solutions together. By managing expectations, surrogates can help alleviate the stress and anxiety that often accompany the surrogacy journey, creating a more positive and resilient dynamic.
It’s crucial to broaden the criteria by which you select a surrogate. Focusing solely on those with flawless histories can lead to overlooking candidates who may bring invaluable experience and insight into the surrogacy journey. Consider the unique strengths that a surrogate with previous unsuccessful transfers can offer, such as resilience, empathy, and a grounded approach to potential challenges.
In your pursuit of the right surrogate, remember that past experiences—both good and bad—shape her as a person and a potential carrier. By being open to candidates with a history of unsuccessful embryo transfers, you may find a surrogate who not only understands the intricacies of surrogacy but is also committed to making your journey a success. Embrace the opportunity to select someone who can truly partner with you in this profoundly personal experience.