Meet Ben & Zach

Location: New York, USA

We matched on Tinder in 2021 and met up at a taproom where we unexpectedly talked for hours and then did that several more times over the course of a few weeks, finding it easy to open up to one another. On our first date, Ben wasted no time telling me that he was looking for his future children’s other parent, even though I could tell that Ben was a little worried about scaring me off. And I shared with Ben how important family traditions are to me, like birthday group calls (which I told him about right before I abruptly left the bar to join a family birthday call with my brother-in-law in Chicago)! Ben shared the good, bad, and ugly of his family, and Zach shared the good, the bad, and ugly of his career. I was attracted to Ben’s confidence in what he wanted from life and for perhaps the first time, I could tell I was dating someone I could wholly trust. And Ben always tells me that I immediately made him feel comfortable being himself, which he hadn’t experienced much, if ever, before. Over the winter holidays, spending days together turned into weeks. We unofficially moved in together just 3 months after we met, and my only reason to visit my own apartment was to water my many plants that had not yet found a new home at Ben’s place. After two years together, we knew we were ready to take this step and began educating ourselves about surrogacy, attending the Men Having Babies conference in the fall of 2023.

Letter to our future baby:

New York, NY, October 2025

Today, your dads live in a world you don’t yet inhabit. But one day soon, you’ll be here, and we won’t be able to comprehend this world without you in it. We wonder what your favorite color will be, whether you’ll like spicy foods or have a sweet tooth, whether you’ll prefer apple picking or pumpkin picking, math or creative writing, the city or the countryside. We wonder what you will choose to call us. Both being dad, maybe it’ll be your intonation that distinguishes one from the other?

We could spend all 3000 characters we’ve got here on questions like these, because we simply wonder who you will be and we look forward to nothing more than getting to know you and being your family. Family is important to us both, as you’ll see. But the way we see it, family is not about blood, rather it’s about who chooses to love and support you through it all. Family is the people who want nothing but the best for you, and will give you their best. It’s about knowing without a doubt, you are loved.

As we begin this next part of the journey — finding the surrogate who will generously carry you — both of your dads are hopeful and at the same time, holding their breath from fear that for reasons outside of our control, you could not come to be. But perhaps the beauty of this question is that it gives us a chance to share the confidence we have with one another, and one day, with you, if you read this. And just as your dads want to support each other, help each other grow, and build each other up, this question offers us a chance to remind each other just how much effort we’re willing to put in, and how much work we’ll do, to make sure you we don’t have to wonder about you for much longer. We (will) love you,

Dad, and because you can’t help us distinguish by name just yet, Dad

Interested in Matching with Ben & Zach?

Submit your information here and we’ll be in touch shortly.