Meet Our Intended Parents
Explore these heartfelt stories of families hoping to grow
Meet Joshua & Dean
Location: London, United Kingdom
Watch our video:
On our very first date 15 years ago we shared that we both wanted to have children in our future. At our wedding 6 years ago we said in our vows we wanted to dedicate our lives to each other and, hopefully, to any kids we may have.
Dean grew up with a big extended family, being very close with aunts, uncles and cousins. Family has always been central, with large gatherings at Christmas and Easter, kids playing in the pool, everyone bringing food and watching kid’s concerts. Dean plays guitar and his brother the drums. As kids, they would put on music concerts for all the family, playing carols at Christmas every year. Dean’s love of Christmas has extended into a new tradition for both Dean and Josh. Every year for 15 years we have been collecting new Christmas decorations, which we one day hope to pass on to our kids and their grandkids. Dean also dreams of playing carols on his guitar with the kids, teaching them an instrument.
Many of our friends and family over the years have been blessed to have kids and we’ve been so lucky to have grown very close to them. Our god kids, Teo, Bella & Florence and our niece, Amelia, have brought us and their families so much joy and love – every day we spend with them it reaffirms our desire to support and help grow a little-one, providing them all we possibly can.
Just after our wedding, we were spending a weekend with our god kids and their parents. Teo, then 5 put his hand on Dean’s shoulder and asked “When are you and Josh going to have a baby now you are married?” It was a moment that really struck a chord with us. For so long in our lives we always thought that being gay meant we would never be able to have kids. Coming out also created a sadness that one had to give up the dream of a family. We couldn’t believe that times had changed so much that a 5-year-old was so accepting of us as parents.
We’re extremely close with our families and they are incredibly supportive of us embarking on this surrogacy journey. Dean’s mom and dad are besotted by their 4 yr old granddaughter Amelia, and constantly asking us how the surrogacy journey is going for us; as Amelia needs a cousin and they want more grandkids before they get too old. For the last 2 years, Amelia has kept asking her two Uncles for a little cousin to play with.
We feel like we have an entire support squad behind us, willing us along, and just waiting to be part of raising this child with all the love, care and support possible.
Our passion and purpose in life has always been to ‘give back’ – Josh is a civil servant working in education and Dean works in property, enjoys volunteering with his Church and also mentors LGBT university students. We want to raise our kid to have our same values. We want them to realise how blessed and lucky they are, to know how many people’s love helped bring them into the world and to use their natural abilities and gifts to help others to also be their best.
We both feel a close connection with Canada, Dean having family in Vancouver & Toronto and Josh having lived in British Columbia when he was younger. We love all that Canada and its people stand for – fairness, equity, openness and inclusion. We are really keen for our children to have a strong and continuing connection with Canada and a relationship with those who gave so much to help them come into the world, part of an extended family.
***
Letter to our surrogate
Five years ago, we started this journey to create our family. At the start we were idealistic, had dreams of this all coming together within a few months and by now, having our two kids and a wonderful ongoing relationship with our surrogate, swapping birthday cards, Christmas cards and FaceTime calls, showing first teeth, favourite toys and many other milestones.
We weren’t prepared for the trials and tests we have gone through, including the heartbreak of two miscarriages. These trying times have not deterred us. If we could take anything from these experiences, it has been that the two of us are stronger than ever as a couple. It has brought us closer together as a team, made us more resilient and more committed to our dream of a family. We also developed an indescribable bond with the amazing women who have tried to help us create our family.
Thank you are the only two words we can muster to say to you. Thank you in a multitude of ways. Thank you for considering becoming a surrogate and possessing so much selflessness to help others like us. Without your gift, we would not be able to dream of our little miracles.
These two words, thank you, contain so much emotion behind them. They hold feelings of joy, hope and excitement for all the miracles of parenthood. It will be a blessing to have our little ones call us Daddy and Pappa, hold our hands and reach out for hugs. It also holds feelings of worry, tears and nerves for all the responsibilities. To shield them from the worries of the world, bullies, scraped knees and realising the world is not perfect.
Having had five years of continual preparation for parenthood means that we say thank you to you with so much gratitude and warmth that our hearts swell with joy at the thought of this journey with you. To have you be able to give the gift of all these emotions means that it is possible! We pray for happy, healthy babies that we can make the centre of our world.
While we have continued to wait for it to be “our time” through all of the setbacks, we know that our babies will come to us. We hope that you are the one to help make this come to be and that the stars align. We envisage this as an opportunity not only for you to help us, we also want to be there for you. Please know that we want to do all we can to be of great support to you and your family. We want to build long lasting friendships and connections, that also bring joy to your life. We hope to bring something special to your journey, to make this a happy time for you that creates wonderful moments that are cherished by us all.
While it is not nearly enough, once again we just want to say, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you!
***
Letter from previous surrogate
To the future surrogate,
It saddens me to say that i am not compatible with josh and dean. Not emotionally, of course, but physically. Our perfect match had to end, for the reason of keeping their precious embryos for someone else. I respect the opinion of the doctor that says that sometimes “its not a match, incompatible”
Although it breaks my heart, we all have to move together but separately. To move to another means, myself to a new intended parent, and them, a new surrogate.
Through my tears in writing this, i cannot emphasize how much these boys are my people. They have been so supportive and loving through this process, that I have made a family with them, though i cannot provide them with a family to call their own. These boys are funny, upbeat and can crack me up at any point, even through the heartbreak. I wish so much that i could have done this journey with them…but alas, science says otherwise. If you want to feel loved above anything else, feel validated and respected, and also feel so important in this journey…these are the fun loving guys for you. They will still be in my life, always, and I am envious of the surrogate that gets to complete their family. They deserve it. I would like to meet their little one, one day. I was proud to call them mine, i can only ask that you take them as your own, with that i give them to YOU. Please accept this gift of the BEST boys you could ask for.
Leigh
Interested in Matching with Joshua & Dean?
Submit your information here and we’ll be in touch shortly.