Meet Sergio & Benjamin

Location: Bergem, Luxembourg

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Benjamin and Sergio are a couple since the beginning of the year 2015, so this means that we are now more than 6 years happy together. After 1 year, we decided to move together in an apartment, we get in a partnership end of 2017 and we finally bought our dreamhouse of our own in May 2019.

Sergio is 44 years old. He was born in Luxembourg, his parents come from Portugal and Sergio has no brothers and sisters. He does high school in Luxembourg and passed his bachelor and master degree in management in France where he lives during his studies. He works now in a non-profit organization in the social field for vulnerable persons that goes from child care, disable persons, to homeless and elderly persons. His philosophy of life is carpe diem, to live the present moment fully. He would describe himself as realistic but try always to stay positive and optimistic. He tries to keep on dreaming and see the bright side of every situation.

Benjamin is 33 years old and he was born in France near Paris. He has also no brothers and sisters. He does all his studies in France. He got his College diploma in the field of quality, security and environment. He works in a day nursery as quality and security coordinator. Now he has changed his work direction and starts to be a first aid trainer to teach in different firms the first aid gestures to save lifes at work if something happens. He would describe himself as dynamic, optimistic and try to make the most of every day.

Sergio and Benjamin met due to a common friend in October 2014. So, friendships are very important for us. We believe we can achieve our goals if we try hard enough. We like to be surrounded by our friends, family and all loved ones. We like both to travel, discover new countries, new cultures and of course we like to discover new restaurants and eat different types of food like Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Greek etc. And of course, Canadian specialities which is the next on our list. Our hobbies are to listen to music, go to concerts, watch movies, chill out at home, go for long walks in the forest, parks, hang out with friends etc.

We are ready and willing to build a family together. This is something we discussed since the beginning of our relationship. A life without children would be a non-fulfilled life for us. Both parents of our own support us fully in this process and marvellous journey. We think it s a beautiful thing that a person like you give us the gift of having children and build a family of our own. You will help us as a couple to have a baby that was unable to conceive on our own. We want kids more than anything. We believe everything happens for a reason.

During this journey, when we imagine the relationship with our Surrogate, we imagine to exchange with the surrogate mother at least once a week. We prefer written messages (e-mail, whatsapp, messenger) rather than visio. We are aware that there will be moments of doubt and insecurity along the way for her and for us so we are open to accommodate ourselves in our involvement if the surrogate mother needs that.

When we dream of becoming two Dads, we picture the future baby with us in every important step of his/her life. One of the great moments would be together with the four grand-parents in special occasions such as for Christmas, Eastern, summer holdidays or of course for the arriving an future birthday parties of our baby.

This child will be so loved, by so many people, such as the closed family but also by lots of family members of Sergio in Portugal and also the family members of Benjamin in France. Our closed friends will also be happy for us because they know how much the child means to us. In addition we have also one of our best friends who is also try to build his own family by a surrogate mother, and also straight friends who are trying to have their own baby. So the children can be friends as well and play together. That would be nice.

Sergio has dreamed of children since a long time. We have been together for 7 years and wanted to ensure our relationship was real and lasting before having a house and now a child and a complete family of our own. Benjamin agreed totally in having a child too since we moved together for 6 years, beginning 2016. This wasn’t an easy journey for us to have and achieve all the conditions for having a child.

Until now it hasn’t felt real, but as we talk several times with Dr. Librach and our coordinator nurse at Create, with our lawyer and one of the most important steps we achieved, our egg donor, who was so charming and supportive most of all if the child wants to meet her when she/he is getting older.

During the vacations, we will probably go together with the child to see the sea in Spain or Portugal, because we miss it here in Luxembourg. We love the Mediterranean lifestyle. When we have a child, we will be very happy to accompany him/her during all the important stages of his/her life. We want him or her to know that we are there for him or her and that he or she means everything to us, that he or she has been thought about and wanted for a long time and that he or she will always be able to count on us no matter what happens.

It is obvious that when this baby is born, our plans will change a bit, but we will concentrate our efforts around our house which still needs to be partially renovated, our hobbies and the education of the children. We are looking forward to preparing the room for the child. We will of course have to think about hiring a nanny. Luckily we have our mutual parents who are there, fully supportive and will be happy to give us a hand.

After the birth of our child, we hope to stay in touch with the surrogate mother to exchange photos and news about the child. In addition, we would like to use the same surrogate mother for the second baby if possible. Communication will of course be done with respect to the surrogate mother.

Our favorite movies/TV shows are quite varied. We love Netflix which plays a lot of TV shows from around the world. Benjamin loves to read books before bed and Sergio is more of a magazine guy. We love everything about interior design, architecture, museums, music concerts, opening new restaurants to learn about new culinary dishes.

A typical Friday night for us is around a good meal with a good glass of wine and a good show to watch, especially during the long winter months (November to April). We always try to find programs that we both enjoy.

The things that scare us or make us anxious about surrogacy are all the events that we can’t control and that we have to let unfold as mother nature intended.

We speak English and mostly French with each other. We are looking forward to our child learning French and Portuguese at first to communicate with the family, then Luxembourgish which is the language of Luxembourg. Of course, English will be part of the languages he will learn and he will be more motivated to learn it to know Canada and its culture together with us! This wonderful country is one of our destinations to explore. This would have already happened if it wasn’t for COVID-19.

We hope to have children and it will be in any case with the help of a surrogate mother whom we already thank warmly. We are aware of how lucky we are and of the beautiful gesture that the surrogate mother is doing for us. Our doctor at the Create clinic told us that we have a great chance to create a family very soon with a surrogate mother, and that we have about ten embryos ready at the clinic!

Once the child is born, an adoption request will be made by the non-biological father so that the child will be protected. We will have to do this in Luxembourg and France, so that these two countries recognize the two fathers, as the parents of the child. We will do whatever it takes to protect legally our children.

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