Meet Jonathan & Damien

Location: MIGNIERES, France

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October 2022, two future dads, because they live a passionate love, take up their quill, or rather their pen, to discuss their journey and story of life as a couple, to their future surrogate mother.

We tried to start our biography in an original way but we are not convinced of our essay. So I’m Jonathan and I’m Damien. In a few clicks on a dating site 8 years ago we said to ourselves “what if we were going to have a drink to get to know each other”. This is the beginning of our story. We would have liked to tell you that we met at the Pretty Woman gay version but no!!! So from this meeting we each keep a different and anecdotal memory which still today allows us to be able to share it with our friends and our family. Which ones?? We will tell you more if you open your heart to us.

But let’s go back to the beginning. One then two then three meetings, a gluten-free meal prepared by Damien because yes Jonathan does not tolerate gluten (Damien will spend a lot of time cooking and not making mistakes in the preparations), a few films shared together and the famous kiss that will make it official after 1 month and a half our beginning of life together.

We have always made the choice to take our time and listen to each other’s opinions and needs. In fact, for several months we shared a distance. We must explain this definition which is specific to us. During the week we lived with Jonathan and at weekends with Damien. Lucky for us, we lived in the same city. So you are going to ask us why this organization. Well to take our time, the time to get to know each other, to discover each other without making mistakes and to do well. Also because Jonathan’s work required and still requires a certain organization. So a little break on our story to tell you about our work which will allow you to better understand the rest of our story.

Jonathan is in charge of a child protection service. We don’t think we need to explain more to you, but his job is to take care of children in danger, abused, … He therefore knows very well early childhood, early childhood and adolescence. Damien is in a completely different world, that of the bank. He studies the numbers and tracks down fraudsters. Between the two of us, in two different backgrounds, we remain in professions very close to human beings, in the search for fair justice.

But let’s get back to the rest of our story because we don’t want to lose you, dear reader.

After 6 months of living together, we have chosen to take a new step and live together, under the same roof but in a new apartment, in order to open this new chapter of our life on the same basis. We will stay 2 years in this spacious and bright apartment close to the vegetation with a magnificent view of a park. Our desire to have our own house, more space, nature will lead us to start research to buy our house, which will be the case in 2017

Welcome to our home, dear reader. Finally after work many of which were carried out by our little hands even though we were not at the beginning the kings of DIY. But after a few YouTube videos and DIY lessons, we have now become experts. We are therefore in the countryside but close to schools and shops, in a small village with lots of animals (cows, horses, kangaroos and yes that’s not a typing error) and above all lots of forests around us to take nice walks. This living environment was important for us and our future baby far from pollution and close to wide open spaces but not as big as in Canada we admit. We have a large swimming pool and a small vegetable garden which allows us to make our own food and to be able to consume it during the winter. Nothing better than eating your own home gown vegetables. This small garden is the kingdom of Damien who has adopted permaculture and homemade. He is the one who cooks with taste at home, you will have to trust us until you, our reader, come to visit us in France to taste Damien’s famous specialties now that he has mastered the gluten free food. Now we enter the house because it is starting to get cold outside in Chartres. Our favorite space, the living room-kitchen with the fireplace !!. It is besides in front of her that we continue to speak to you about us. We are complementary on a daily basis. Damien likes to prepare good homemade dishes for us, to make his own jams. Jonathan is more of a handyman and manages the organization of the house. Our evenings, television and board games allow us to relax and get together to talk about our day, our future baby and you, the one who will give birth to it.

Little by little we built and improved our home and came the need to grow our family. So we talked a lot about adoption, surrogacy, but Damien wasn’t ready for that step yet. In 2019, we therefore initiated the steps to obtain adoption approval. This one-year process carried out during Covid-19 allowed us to learn a lot about ourselves, our needs, our expectations, to work on our life stories, our couple… We do not regret this stage of our life even if it has not always been simple and has required a lot of reflection, a lot of planning. It is therefore with joy that in November 2020 we obtained approval for the reception of 2 children. To date, no project has been proposed to us, the delays are very long in France and same-sex couples are still at the bottom of the list. Another good news during this year, we decided to get married. Jonathan had asked for Damien’s hand during a weekend in a medieval castle in 2018. Our wedding was an unforgettable moment with the mask of course, but also made of sharing, joy and conviviality. All in a small committee, the health rules forcing us. To date, it is the most beautiful moment of our lives, we still see our eyes meet in front of the mayor and say yes, one and the other passing the ring on their finger. We still get goosebumps telling it.

After a year of reflection, exchanges, contact made with couples who have had a child in Canada, associations, multiple Facebook browsing, we have cast off the sails to begin the great journey of surrogacy by contacting a clinic. Another very stressful stage with the distance but which we faced calmly, the experience of the adoption process having helped us a lot, as well as the support of our families and friends. A round trip to Ontario in May 2022, with our family, to meet the clinic, donate sperm and share with the staff much more than a virtual exchange. And here we are, dear reader, see you today, with a blank page that we will write with you if you decide to be part of this family adventure of our life project. As you have been able to read, we are settled in our life, each step has been thought out, discussed and thought out beforehand, the agreement of both of us being essential. We have different characters, different passions but which allow us to have a balance in life and to still be in love 8 years later.

Thank you for taking the time to read until the end, thank you for the attention you paid to our life journey and perhaps you will be the next chapter of our life.

We have to close our pen, we want to share our favorite quote with you: “the only happiness we have comes from the happiness we give”.

Jonathan and Damian

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