You made the decision to become a Surrogate. How exciting! Surrogacy is such an life changing endeavor, and always brings about so many questions; who will you be matched with? Will they be a good match? How will we mesh?
Something I like to tell my “newbies” is to make a list of questions to ask Potential Intended Parents. That way when you get on that introduction phone call/visit, you won’t feel like a deer caught in head lights and not know what to ask.
Here are some great ideas to get the ball rolling when you have that first contact with your potential Intended Parents:
ü What are you reasons for needing a surrogate Mother? (Tell me your story)
ü What kind of relationship do you expect from me? (before, during and after the birth)
ü What are your expectations for the birth?
ü How many IVF cycles will you attempt in order to conceive a child?
ü What are your thoughts on abortion? Under what circumstances do you feel that it is necessary?
ü How do you feel about multiples?
ü Do you want me to provide you pumped breast milk after the baby is born?
ü Are you using your own eggs/sperm or donor?
ü How soon are you looking at doing a cycle?
ü Are you ok with a midwife/OB supported Birth?
ü I’d like to hire a doula, how do you feel about this?
ü I want my kids to meet you and the baby thru this journey, are you on board for this?
ü What do you plan to tell your children about surrogacy when they are older?
ü What kind of relationship can I expect from you after the birth of the baby?
ü Do you want a sibling journey as well?
ü Does your family know about your plans for surrogacy? Are they supportive?
ü What kind of restrictions do you have in mind for me? (food, exercise ect.)
ü If you live internationally, how do you plan to be involved in this journey? (skype, visits..ect)
Although all these questions may not be important to you, this will help you to get the ball rolling and to see if these Potential Intended Parents are a good fit for you. These are people you be working closely with for the next 10+ months. It’s nice to know where everyone stands on important issues before moving forward with the process, ensuring it’s a good fit!
Another great way to get to know Intended Parents is creating a “get to know you” quiz, it is a great way to break the ice and helps you to get to know them on a more personal level.
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/400557-getting-to-know-you—a-fun-my-favourite-things-quiz
Congrats on deciding to move forward with a surrogacy journey. I wish you much luck on finding that perfect match for yourself.
Angie Campeau is CFC’s intake worker/support person. Angie’s role is to support, and encourage our Surrogates. Angie ensures that our Surrogates have the necessary support to make the best decisions throughout their pregnancy. As an advocate for our Surrogates, Angie provides resource materials, as well as referrals to be certain that our carriers have all necessary information to make the best decisions regarding their health, and pregnancy.
For further information on CFC’s unique Surrogacy program, please email Angie, or contact our office at 613 439 8701
Angie has joined CFC in April 2014 and is the point person for our Surrogates. She gave birth to a surrogate baby in 2012 and brings with her a lot of experience, advice and compassion for our Surrogates. Giving comes as a second nature to her – it is for that reason that Surrogacy was a wonderful stepping stone for her. She lives a bohemian lifestyle and believes that all Surrogates and Intended Parents should be fully supported and honoured in birth.
Angie lives in St Thomas, Ontario and is a proud Mom of three beautiful children ages 8, 8 and 5 months. Her family is blended, making her no stranger to unique ways of making families come to be. She has a passion for helping build families through non-traditional means as she has experienced firsthand how trying and difficult fertility issues can be on a family. Angie looks forward to being able to support our Surrogates and Intended Parents from introduction to post-birth.