The Day My Best Friends Daughter Was Born: A Surrogacy Birth Story

The week leading up to Stella’s birth was a week of exhaustion, frustration, and waiting impatiently.

We had an ultrasound on the Wednesday, just to check on her growth and to make sure everything was all good in there. She was clearly VERY comfortable and had no intentions on going anywhere anytime soon. The ultrasound was booked before the bleed I had on the previous Saturday. But the tech couldn’t find any reason as to why I would have bled, everything looked totally normal.

On Thursday we had our OB appointment. Heartbeat was good and she was measuring perfectly. But my doctor was seriously concerned about the bleed I had and was surprised that the hospital sent me home. So he booked my induction for the following day (Friday)! He wanted to get Miss Stella out as soon as possible to avoid another bleed and it being something serious.

On Friday I woke up bright and early and called the hospital at 7:30am ready to head to the hospital to bring Miss Stella earth side – only to be told ‘Sorry, not yet. If you haven’t heard from us by 3:00pm, come in for an NST and we will go from there.’ So I waited and I waited. No call by 3:00pm so I went in for an NST and as expected everything was fine so I was sent home. I was devastated. Again, I was told ‘We will call you.’ so again I waited. When 11:00pm rolled around, I had given up and I went to bed. It was a long and frustrating day of waiting and I had had enough.

At 5:30 on Saturday morning, I was woken from a dead sleep to a call from the hospital telling me it was go time! I had my bag all packed and ready to go from the day before. I called my doula Angie, our birth photographer and my good friend Janine, and of course Mom and Dad to let them all know it was time! I hopped in a cab, and off I went on my merry way! Miss Stella’s eviction date was set in stone and there was no going back now!

Once I was at the hospital, I got settled into my room and Janine met me there. By 7:30am my induction was started and things were finally moving! A & P arrived around 8:00am. Things were a little slow moving, but my contractions were starting and things were definitely underway.
P went out and grabbed coffee for A & Janine, and he came back with popsicles and ginger ale for me. He made sure everyone was well taken care of and had everything we needed.

By 11:00am things were getting real and my contractions were starting to take my breath away. So it was time for my epidural! The anesthesiologist came in around 11:30am and I got the wonderful drugs. I think he was my favourite person all day haha. It took awhile for things to go numb the way they should have and it was wonky through my whole labour but it still did it’s job and did it well (a little too well at points).

Angie arrived around noon and I was checked and I was 3-4cm dilated. Angie sent A & P out to get some food and go for a walk shortly after she arrived, since they hadn’t eaten yet and not much was happening. Janine went for lunch as well since she also hadn’t eaten and there wasn’t too much to photograph at this point, just me laying in the bed contracting.

Once Janine came back around 1:00pm Angie went and grabbed something to eat as well. I was not a happy camper, everyone was eating except me haha. Angie had just gotten back from eating and my water broke around 2:00pm, and A came back not long after that. When my water broke there was meconium present. Which meant that when Miss Stella made her grand entrance there would be a NICU team in the room to check her out and make sure everything was all good with her and that she wasn’t effected by it.

When I was checked after my water broke I was 4-5cm dilated. At this point we all hunkered down and got ready for the long haul. I FaceTimed with Nik and the kids to check in on them at home and let them know what was going on and where things were at. And I of course missed them lots as the kids were fast asleep when I left in the morning.

After a little while Angie sent A out for another walk (P was in the car having a nap haha) because I was having some concerning bleeding throughout my labour so far and it seemed to pick up a bit after my water broke. The nurse didn’t mention it and tried to keep it quiet as to not worry A & P. Which I was very thankful for! They didn’t need anything else to worry about!

My nurse called for the doctor around 5:00pm to come assess my bleeding and see what she thought. When Dr. Kelly came in she checked me and I was 8cm! She was a little concerned with the bleeding as my hemoglobin was already pretty low to begin with but all my vitals were normal and I was feeling fine.

‘A’ came back up just as Dr. Kelly had finished checking me and was shocked when we told her I was already at 8cm! We told her it was probably time to get P back in the room as he was having a grand ol’ nap in the car since Angie had sent them for lunch haha.

At this point I started to get really uncomfortable. Even though I had the epidural for some reason my hip started hurting and I needed to readjust, well be readjusted as I couldn’t really move my legs haha. There was also a lot of throwing up happening. I couldn’t seem to shake the constant urge to vomit.

Things went really quickly at this point. The next time I was checked, not sure of the time, I was fully dilated with a small lip. My nurse readjusted me to get the lip to go on its own and it definitely did!

When my legs were in the stirrups and it came time to push, the urge to throw up hit me again full force and it didn’t seem like it was going anywhere.

After a few minutes I was able to compose myself and it was time to push. A and P were right there beside me on my right and Angie was on my left. The room was quiet and peaceful and full of love.

After 3 short pushes, Miss Stella came into the world at 6:32pm weighing 7lbs 11oz and 20 inches long and as healthy as can be!

The moment she was born, I remember looking at A’s face and just smiling, the look on her face as she saw her baby girl for the very first time was a look I will never forget. My best friend was finally a mother.

There was a moment between A and I after Stella was born, when the NICU team was checking her over, there were no words, just hugging and tears. That moment meant so much to me. Instead of rushing over to be with her daughter, she thought of me and she stayed with me. That moment proved our relationship far surpassed the relationship of an Intended Mother and Surrogate; we were best friends and nothing would ever change that.

Even after Stella was born, and A & P were in their own room with her, they made sure to check in on me and see how I was doing and if I needed anything. I am so blessed to have this new little family in my life.

Although long, this birth was by far my favourite out of my four. It was peaceful, calm, and I was completely surrounded by love and support.

Please click the here to watch the video of this birth story.

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