On June 27th of this year, the world was rivetted by a photo of two men, welcoming their baby into their arms. The picture was breathtaking, amazing, and a wonderful expression of Love, as two Men, become Dads. The photo is where the story ends, and Fatherhood begins, but what about the “via surrogate”, how did she get forgotten in all of this. How is her name not even mentioned, except weeks later, by a news outlet that spells her name wrong. How does that even happen??
As amazing and wonderful as the story is, it does a disservice by leaving the Surrogate behind. By “via surrogate” completely takes away from the sacrifices that Kathy, and her family made. The countless appointments, missed kids events, morning sickness, days home in bed, 80 Intra muscular injetions, 300 pills, countless ultrasounds, and midwife appointments, I have been waiting for Kathy’s side to be shared, or for the media to acknowledge her in a very different way, instead of “via a surrogate”, how about asking Kathy about the sacrifices made, in order for her to give the amazing gift of life to these Dads.
I touched base with Kathy before writing this, as I wanted to share my upset, and also ask her permission to give my opinion on how I thought the media got it wrong. I don’t think it was an intentional slight by the media, I think it was an honest interest in the Dads, and the Surrogacy side of things may be still uncomfortable to most- so lets play it safe, and focus on the Dads. As I write this Im smiling, as two dads, playing it safe, doesn’t sound safe, But it’s great that the acceptance of gay men becoming parents through Surrogacy is evolving, and there is less of stigma attached.
I guess Im writing this, as its sad to see story after story in the media about surrogacy, and the surrogate is referred to as “via a surrogate”, rather than the media wanting to know who this amazing, courageous woman is, and who her supportive, caring, nurturing family is, who supported her while she did the tough stuff. I hope that someone reads this, and decides its time to ask Kathy aka “via surrogate” how she made it through a failed transfer, all the needles, the blood pressure issues, the time in bed, and abstinince in her mariage. Can someone ask her, please???
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