Sometimes beginning conversations can be difficult, but the smallest things can be conversation starters. Send your surrogate a picture of what you are doing, even the simplest things like what show you are watching is a way to start a conversation. Send her pictures of what you are eating, maybe that will spark up a conversation of what her pregnancy cravings are, what she dislikes and likes. These are great ways to develop a relationship with your surrogate while finding out different things about her. If you are International sending pictures to your surrogate of your surroundings can be enjoyable as well, as she may never get to see those sights without looking through your lens.
Let’s be REAL for a second, sometimes building a relationship with someone you don’t know is tricky. So the best way to solve this is by getting to know them and being real during that process!
Do you enjoy wine tasting, or maybe you enjoy knitting, or cooking. Share those things with your surrogate! Being real and honest about who you are is super important. Your surrogate picked you specifically because she felt a connection to your bio, we want to make sure that connection stays strong. The best relationships anyone can have, is one where honesty and communication is top priority.
Share your hopes and dreams! We understand, and so does she that your history may not be the greatest, and there has probably been some disappointment, and sorrow along the way and that is OK to share. Just remember that there is still hope, and that person that wants to give you hope is on the other end of that phone. Sharing your history is special, but focusing on the hope of your future is necessary. (I know a lot easier said than done) Write letters ahead of time and send them to your surrogate via “snail mail” with hopeful messages, cheerful sentiments and aspirations for your relationship and your Journey. Who doesn’t like getting mail that isn’t bills?
Your surrogate wants to know who you are, and who you will be as parents. Your history does not define who you are as people, and who you will be as parents. Have faith in your future, and build a relationship that you would strive to have with a close friend.