I feel as though throughout this blog I should tackle different topics, coming from a surrogates point of view. Rather than a printed article, which normally is written by someone who has not gone through what we do.
So let’s start right from the beginning.
Why choose to be a surrogate?
I decided to bring this to the women within my company, because I believe it is important to not just talk about me, but other people going through their journeys as well. And these are some of the answers I received. (Obviously not using their names for privacy purposes)
L: When I was pregnant with my daughter I had decided to place her for an open adoption. Her father took me to court for guardianship and the adoption couldn’t be processed. The two couples I had considered had turned into some close friends of mine and now have both completed their families through ivf and adoption. I still had it in my heart that I wanted to help someone with having a family. Life blessed me with my daughter when I didn’t expect or want that responsibility in my life. I always wanted to be a mom, I just expected that it would happen at a different time in my life. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
E: I struggled to get pregnant with my daughter. We ended up having to do IUI. Once she was born, I knew that I was done having kids but not done being pregnant. I wanted to help someone who was feeling like I did. I had followed journeys on Facebook and reached out when my daughter was almost 2.
H: Marina is one of my mums. She’s supported me through a wild growing up. One of her best friends was a surrogate for gay couples three times. And it was just an offhand comment that Marina said about her just delivering. It truly sat with me and I loved it.
L: I just wanted people who had the desire to feel that crazy life changing love that I feel for my children. To actually be able to have that.
J: I don’t really know. Prior to it I didn’t think I could do it, but I guess watching it happen it changed it for me. I thought if I was matched with the right people I would just know. And now I would literally would walk to the ends of the earth for my guys.. I also did an egg donation when my oldest was about 8 months, I was 19 at the time and that had already opened me up to the world of people who wanted kids but couldn’t. I knew I wanted to donate eggs again no matter what.
I chose to be a surrogate because I crossed path with a teacher in high school going through infertility, while I was going through my own personal struggles. (I’m not going into this due to privacy) But she delivered twins the year I carried my first, so it was a beautiful thing seeing something come full circle, and her family finally being complete after such a long struggle with conceiving.
So you see, we all have completely different stories, backgrounds, reasons, and desires as to why we end up coming to help, well, you. (If you’re an intended parent) And if you are a surrogate or someone looking into surrogacy, you can see that we are a collective group of women who all share the same vision. To complete a family. To give a healthy child back to its parents. To serve without asking for anything in return.
(I told you I peed a lot)
So a little bit about me, as of this week, we are SEVEN weeks pregnant. ( March 17th
I got both blood tests done, and my levels were at 180, and then jumped to 408. So this baby is DEFINITELY hanging around, or trying!
It’s actually quite adorable, my intended father’s, amazing as they are, just do not understand what is going on, or what HCG numbers are. So I get to explain it to them in a fun way. Explain that between your first blood draw, and your second blood draw, you want the numbers to double. That means that the embryo is growing properly, and everything is going the way it needs to be going.
They have so much going on over on their end of the country. J’s work schedule has peak times where he runs around with his head cut off, and it started just a few days ago, and will stay for a bit, and then will level off before he goes on vacation in the summer. I thought about sending flowers, but then I just peed on another stick again, showing them how much darker the line is, so they had something sweet to hold on to while chaos ensues. LOL.
I also got more meds. Just in time too! (For those who don’t know we take estrogen/progesterone or prometrium) So more needles, more pills. But only for 5 more weeks. So it’s like I’m already almost half done. Which is UNREAL to think about, cause I JUST got pregnant.
And I got to book my first ultrasound too, which is also something exciting for us. It’s later this month, so you’ll just have to stay tuned to see this little baby take its first picture. Although technically, I do have a photo from the transfer of the egg just floating around in my uterus. So I suppose this little baby has already been photographed. But this time, they will be able to tell how many I am carrying, and be able to date it better to give me a more accurate due date. (Even though, let’s face it, a due date is basically an approximation anyways.)
I have no idea if they are so excited that they have started to slowly tell people or not, but they are probably DYING with excitement if they haven’t. They originally said they were going to wait until the 12 week mark, so we were “out of the red zone”, so to speak. They didn’t want stress on me, or on them, with family members constantly asking how I am doing, and what’s going on, and when transfer was, and then waiting, and asking everyday, holding breath. They just chose not to do so. Plus so many things can happen in the first three months.
So we just kinda wait, I still pee on things, cause I’m a little weird. And we hang out till we can see what’s growing in my little uterus. (Which won’t be little for long)
Until next time!